Celebrating Senior Women

At 3 AM, senior women all over town lie in bed with their eyes wide open; or sit up with a book under a bright lamplight; or, heaven forbid, munch on chocolate with a glass of wine. Not to worry. It’s normal. It’s aging. It’s hormones. It’s “nocturia” (frequent urination.) Or, perhaps, it’s a bit of pain, playfully cavorting around in our aging bodies. How can we make insomnia enjoyable? I take comfort in knowing I’m not awake alone. It’s part of our sisterhood. I jot down my bright ideas—or what I forgot to do yesterday. I comfort myself remembering there’s plenty of time to sleep after …you know! Eventually, I settle down and close my eyes. When my thoughts are very strange, I know sleep is near. I smile and try not to analyze it. Then…it’s morning!   Here’s a thought from a fellow insomniac: “Without enough sleep, the next day we all behave like tall two-year-olds!” (Jo Jo Jensen) Or, in our case, 102 year olds! 

To Karen Rudolph, a team victory beats an individual gold medal anytime. In her new book, Sidelined No Longer: The Untold Story of Women’s College Sports, Karen tells the story of female athletic administrators and players who faced the “masculine domain” of intercollegiate sports in the 1970’s and 1980’s. Sex sterotyping, unfair conditions, and insults followed the women’s teams (who drove busses to events while male athletes flew.) The “women libbers,” as they were sometimes called, met challenge after challenge, determined to compete in the sports they loved while maintaining high ideals and goals.  Those were the athletic leaders and players paving the way for the opportunities we see in women’s sports today. Karen is one of those women. As a 16-year-old, she convinced her local school board to fund girls’ sports for the first time. Later, she played on a four-time state championship women’s softball team—followed by a career as a P.E. teacher and coach. Read her book—I think you’ll be impressed. I sure am! 

Have you considered taking music lessons? At 81, I’m learning to play the recorder—a plastic, flute-like instrument. Music is good for my aging brain, but that’s not what makes me practice. When I’m making music, I’m focused and amazed at myself. As kids, we called it “fun.” My friend, Beverly Call is taking an online class to learn to play the piano and write a song that has been in her heart for a long time. “It’s now or never!” she says. She sang a few lines of her song for me, accompanying herself with chords she’s learned from her piano class: Let me be with you through the darkness, till the breaking of the dawn. I will stay with you forever, etched in time, we belong. Oh, how I wish you could hear our music! Shall we have a recital? (Only if you join us with your voice or instrument!) Does music play a part in your life? We’d love to hear your story. Comment here or email me.—I have easy books and an extra recorder if you want to learn to play.

In the 1980’s and 1990’s, I loved shopping at Marilyn’s Fashion-a-tions. As I admired up-to-date fashions, Marilyn would appear, wearing her million-dollar smile. How about this little number? she would say, showing me an outfit I would never have chosen for myself. Then, while I was in the dressing room, Marilyn would come to the curtained door and say, Try this belt, it’s the newest thing … or, This dress looks like you! When I wore Marilyn’s fashion-a-tions to work, the compliments flooded in! I still wear some of the treasures I found on those shopping sprees. After 43 years, Marilyn and her daughter, Cheryl, closed up shop—a relaxing change for Marilyn, but such a loss for Auburn! Mother and daughter are still into fashion, though, writing and narrating commentary for fashion shows all over our area; and, as you can see, they still have their million-dollar smiles! 

“Save room for dessert!” When Sherrie Erickson walked into our potluck with her pie carrier, we knew we were in for something special, so I grabbed her. “Can I share your recipe on Bright Ideas?” She smiled kindly, knowing I’m a roving blogger. Here’s how she does it: Make a Crisco piecrust from scratch–a storebought pie crust will do. While the crust cools, mix 4 oz of cream cheese, some lemon juice, some Kool Whip, and some vanilla yogurt together and spread it on the base. Set aside. Using 2 lbs of beautiful strawberries, cut some into small pieces, smash a few more, and heat slowly with 3 tbs cornstarch until it’s thick and a real pretty color. Sugar to taste. Pour on top of the cream cheese mixture and chill. Top off with the rest of the strawberries, cut up big. That’s honestly all there is to it! Bright Ideas readers–if you make Sherries’ Strawberry Pie, email me to let us know how it turns out. I’ll pass it on. 

This morning, sitting at my computer, it occurred to me that maybe my readers would be surprised to learn just how my heart pounds on Monday morning as I prepare to send out Bright Ideas. I’m no computer geek! I think. What if I press the wrong key and don’t know how to fix it? You see, I am basically a “fearful” person: afraid of big dogs, driving at night, hurting someone’s feelings, falling (now that I’m 81) talking too much, not being loved—the list goes on and on. Still, I’ve learned through the years I’m capable of facing down fear and winning. I’ve learned mistakes are keys to fulfilling my dreams. I’ve learned to see my strengths and give myself credit. I’ve learned to stand tall through rejection and abandonment. In other words, I’ve learned to Be afraid and do it anyway! This is not just my story … this is our story—the story of every senior woman I know. I’m talking about YOU!  I’m so proud of us!   

“A fiduciary is a licensed professional who manages personal finances, trust assets, day-to-day financial, legal, or medical needs, and/or settles estate distribution and debts—all when a client is, for some reason, unable to take care of these things themselves.” How long have you been a fiduciary, Joanne? I discovered this niche, my ideal job, 34 years ago.” It’s your “ideal” job? Absolutely. I respect people who want to be responsible by making sure all the loose ends of their lives are tied up when the time comes. I’m compatible with them, because I want to be that kind of responsible person, myself.” She pauses a moment, thinking. “Besides that, I’m honored by the trust placed in me. I take pride in being trustworthy.” Thank you for explaining your job, Joanne. I can see that, while being a fiduciary is done with pen and paper, it also requires a lot of heart. “I like doing a job that takes heart,” she says. “I wouldn’t want a job that AI could do!” 

Spending my retirement years in a senior mobile home  suits me just fine. My mobile sets on its own small lot, giving me plenty of privacy. True, I don’t own the land beneath my home, but the amount of my annual property tax is a delight; and my small flower garden gives me ample space to express my outdoor creativity. The real joy of this lifestyle, though, are the friends down the street and around each corner. Our senior mobile home park is truly a community of peers, cheerfully sharing this unique stage of life. Karen Wells is one of us. As we walk past #215, we look forward to the day her peonies, (a sentimental favorite of her grandmother,) burst forth, announcing the coming of spring. One day recently, when Marcia Nelson and I arrived at Karen’s home, the peonies were there, in all their glory. I hope you can see in these photos how spectacular they are. Like the welcoming smiles of treasured friends, they take our breath away! 

When I complimented Kathey on her tidy house and she confessed she never made a bed until she was on her own at age 20, I had to know more!   I grew up in the 40’s and 50’s, she explained. My mother was a housewife and mother, par excellence! She wore a dress and apron every day. She sewed almost all my clothes. The cookie jar was always filled with home-baked cookies. Mom ironed everything and attended a quilting bee each week.    Did she seem happy as a housewife? Mom was usually smiling, but who knows? She might have had her secrets.   Did you always want to be a housewife, like your mom? Oh, no! I admired my aunt who was a secretary and wore high heels. I thought she was so glamourous!    Knowing what we know now, Kathey and I agree—being a “housewife and mother, par excellence” back then was not easy. In fact, if we could go back we would say, Thank you, Mom!  much more often.

“Lisa, you did something many women only dream of: you wrote a memoir. Can you tell us how it’s done?” Step by step, Lisa narrowed it down: First, I decided who I wanted to share my memories with—my ‘audience.’ Then I jogged my memory with a few saved notes, yellow with age. From there, I looked up old friends from way back and we talked about old times. Of course, I researched the history of that era–but AI did not write my book! All along, I called on my persistence. (I wrote and rewrote for three years.) When I started to lose confidence, I forged ahead. Finally, friends read my draft and gave me feedback. True … I’ve studied the art of writing for years; but don’t worry, there are many ways you, too, can learn the craft.   So, come on! Use Lisa’s list and get started telling your story. For inspiration, read her memoir—as lovely as the picture on the cover (which she painted herself, while on the adventure she depicts in her book.) The Rain in Spain is available on Amazon.