If you’re like me, you’re looking in the rearview mirror a lot at this age—finally understanding the payoff of things that happened way back then. Take my 48 years of marriage (to four different husbands) for example. Having been married four times has been a real asset in several ways. For one, I’ve never wasted emotional energy being judgmental of others. Two, my complicated life has made me realize that, if heard from start to finish, my life story—and everyone else’s stories—make perfect sense. Looking back; assessing where we’ve been and why; realizing the surprising ways our experiences have paid off; and finding good reasons to feel proud of ourselves—these are steps to peace of mind younger people still search for.
And we’re not at the end of our journeys yet. Our stories are still being written. There’s wisdom in the Al Anon slogan: Look in the rearview mirror, but don’t stare. Robert Frost also said it well: We’ve miles to go before we sleep.”
At least many of us were allowed to make our own mistakes and learn from them. Don’t you think the things we look at in our past that we don’t like have made us what we are today? We are strong women who have made it and been fortunate enough to get new experiences and chances in life.
Oh boy does this really resonate with me. I owe everything but my life and maybe that too to all the experiences in the past. I’ve felt helpless at times and then found my own strength. Every disappointment and tough time made me more like the stream that wends its way around a boulder. I was married just shy of 20 so sure that I could navigate adulthood in an easy conventional homemaking, motherhood, Ozzy and Harriet way. My life has been more like an I Love Lucy comedy of errors. I love the insight and education it has given me. It’s all been worth it. I’m not wise yet and not done, but I’m infinitely grateful. I’m not just momentarily happy; I’m content. Well…most of the time
After being married 2 times and seeing many marriages of friends I now realize this comment by a marriage counselor is so true… women marry for love; men marry because it is the right time.